Very first training for Half Marathon

So I did a 5K yesterday. Before I went to the gym I actually done a lot of mental preparation. I slept well, I ate on time and I set my mind to be as determine or maybe as neutral as possible. Yes, I was scared. I have no clue why this time around, going to the gym seems to frighten me a lot. I'm scared that I can't lift up to my own expectation. I don't usually have a high expectation on myself but then the Half Marathon have seriously got into my mine. After read all the rules and regulations of the Half Marathon, I feel like this is so ridiculous. I won't be able to do it at all.

I was thinking about it almost every seconds. And most of the time I end up feeling that I have made such a huge mistake. I'm never a runner. I'm not even a jogger. I will be kicked out in the first 15 minutes of the marathon. These lines keep playing in my mind. Ok stop whining already! Huh! Kalau layan feeling ni..memang duk complain je 24 jam.

But still for the past two days I actually dragged my legs to the gym and finished up a couple of 5K. Kudos to my dying self. The first trial was hard. And the second one was harder! Yes, surprisingly. These are my shameful records:

1st Day 5K
Time : 40 minutes 45 seconds
Average pace : NIL
Average speed: NIL

And actually during the second trial I had stomach pain after a short run. I keep holding it in throughout the 5K. My body and my mind wasn't as good as the first time. So I was thinking that my timing is going to be really out today. But then I keep forcing myself to stay on track like yesterday. I won't be able to finish it 20 seconds faster(as you can see below) if I didn't speed upto 10.5km/hour for the last minutes. I think I'm more of a sprinter than a marathoner. Huh jangan mimpi actually neither a sprinter nor a marathoner. Mimpi sajer!

2nd Day 5K
Time : 40 minutes 25 seconds
Average pace : NIL
Average speed: 7.2km/hour

When I was running/jogging I did a lot of calculation. With my current time, I will definitely be disqualified before even get to the half point of the half marathon. I am too slow. And it's really killing me because I think I gave my best in these two 5K. My heart sometimes feel like it's going to pop out when I'm running especially on the last few minutes that I 'try' to sprint. How am I going to finish up a 21K for in the same speed for the sake of the Half Marathon? God knows.

But I'm wishing as I keep training 2-3 times per week and lose few KGs I would be able to run a little longer, a bit faster, and having a more trusted endurance level. Aminn...Allah bless. As for know, just get the legs to do the bloody 5K every other day.

p/s: To join a 5K dash in Canberra Running Festivals you need to finish up within 25 minutes or off you go. My best record is 15 minutes after that max time. I did a mistake for signing up a Half Marathon. Didn't I?